<</div>Terms of Surrender
Still in my robe, I sip a steaming cup of coffee. Logging on to the local paper, I pull down Employment and click on NEW TODAY. My search for an accounting job has evolved into a short online session each morning. I offer up a prayer of surrender to the God who has my best interests at heart, fill in the online application, and hit "Send."
I decided to wave the white flag and give up my right to myself, one day at a time.
Last week I wrote Free Fall, about my figurative leap from the ledge. Self-indulgent tears fell on my keyboard as I said goodbye to the life I've enjoyed for the last five years. Heroically I rolled my office chair to the precipice of a deep, rock-lined well and allowed the recession to tip me forward into the void. Oh, the drama.
It doesn't hurt to fall, you know. The pain came as my rear ricocheted off the rocks on the way down. It isn't change that kills us; it's our resistance. Had I not clawed at the walls, I would have fallen gracefully through thin air. I have a big, strong God waiting at the bottom to catch me.
Last week, I gave Him my list of demands. You know, my terms of surrender. I will do this, but not that. I will work this many hours a week at that kind of job. I'll drive this far, but not that far. Let's face it- I'm already giving up more than I want to. Lord, you know my sacrifice, so please work this out the way I want it.
Because God loves me (a miracle in itself), He hasn't lost patience with me. He allowed me to claw at the walls, demanding my own way, sobbing angrily at each setback until I pried my fingers loose and let go. The drop was nothing like I expected. Rather than a panicked plunge, a cushion of peace lowered me gently into His arms. I couldn't see where I was going, but I wasn't afraid of the fall.
When yielding to an enemy, our terms of surrender may be all that stand between us and annihilation. When we're yielding to a Friend, He might be able to help us best when we surrender our terms.
I decided to wave the white flag and give up my right to myself, one day at a time.
Last week I wrote Free Fall, about my figurative leap from the ledge. Self-indulgent tears fell on my keyboard as I said goodbye to the life I've enjoyed for the last five years. Heroically I rolled my office chair to the precipice of a deep, rock-lined well and allowed the recession to tip me forward into the void. Oh, the drama.
It doesn't hurt to fall, you know. The pain came as my rear ricocheted off the rocks on the way down. It isn't change that kills us; it's our resistance. Had I not clawed at the walls, I would have fallen gracefully through thin air. I have a big, strong God waiting at the bottom to catch me.
Last week, I gave Him my list of demands. You know, my terms of surrender. I will do this, but not that. I will work this many hours a week at that kind of job. I'll drive this far, but not that far. Let's face it- I'm already giving up more than I want to. Lord, you know my sacrifice, so please work this out the way I want it.
Because God loves me (a miracle in itself), He hasn't lost patience with me. He allowed me to claw at the walls, demanding my own way, sobbing angrily at each setback until I pried my fingers loose and let go. The drop was nothing like I expected. Rather than a panicked plunge, a cushion of peace lowered me gently into His arms. I couldn't see where I was going, but I wasn't afraid of the fall.
When yielding to an enemy, our terms of surrender may be all that stand between us and annihilation. When we're yielding to a Friend, He might be able to help us best when we surrender our terms.
Posted by Rachel Ophoff at 5/27/2010 11:06 AM 
Categories: Christian, Faith, Trust, Surrender, Christian Writer, Hope, Christian Blogger, Acceptance
Tags: unemployment Surrender God
Categories: Christian, Faith, Trust, Surrender, Christian Writer, Hope, Christian Blogger, Acceptance
Tags: unemployment Surrender God
Rachel, your blog is very well written. I enjoyed reading it.
Reply to this